Feb 4, 2024
Taking care of your feelings is just as important as taking care of your body. Find out what to do when oceans of emotions are washing over you, and get tips for talking it out with family and friends. Finally, as you get ready to move forward into the future, take a moment to stop and celebrate the whole you!
Your Feelings
Mad one minute, sad the next? Feel like you’re riding an emotional roller coaster? You’re not going crazy, you’re just growing up.
Ups and Downs
You already know that during puberty the outside of you will undergo big changes. But you might not be prepared for so many changes inside of you. During this time, it’s normal to experience very strong emotions. Don’t be surprised if your moods come and go and change like the weather. One minute you’re feeling sunny, the next minute stormy. What’s behind this flood of laughter and tears? Hormones! The same hormones that tell your body to wake up and grow can strongly affect your feelings, too.
New Directions
As you get older, it’s natural for your interests to change. Some of the toys and games you used to love suddenly get pushed to the back of the closet. New interests may take their place. You may also begin to notice boys in a whole different way. That’s perfectly OK. There’s room in your life for lots of different interests, old and new
Hang On
It’s easy to get caught up in the tide of what other girls are saying and doing. They may even put pressure on you to do as they do. But be careful. It’s easy to get lost in the crowd and lose sight of what’s right for you. If your friends are going crazy about movie stars and makeup and you’d rather be building a tree fort, don’t just cave in and go with the flow. Listen to your heart and be true to you.
It’s normal for a growing girl to want a little privacy. Just make sure that when you shut the bedroom door, you don’t shut out the people you love. Puberty can be a confusing time, but it doesn’t need to be a lonely one. Now more than ever, you need the support of your family.
Time Out!
Temper tantrums are OK for two-year-olds, who don’t know how to control their emotions. But tears and screaming won’t get you what you want now that you’re older. Part of growing up is learning how to express anger and frustration calmly, in a way that’s fair to others
It’s good to talk out problems with the people you have them with.
Dealing with Feelings
“Forget it. You won’t understand.”
“You treat me like a baby!”
“I hate you!”
Your whole world is turned topsy-turvy and there’s a tidal wave of emotion crashing around inside of you. You might feel angry, jealous, afraid, embarrassed, or just plain lost and confused. What do you do? If you’re like many people, you take it out on the people closest to you. And the trouble with this is that sulky silences and angry outbursts build a wall between people. The wall doesn’t go up overnight—it’s built one brick at a time. A mean word here. A slammed door there. Before you know it there’s a wall too high for either side to climb over. Don’t let this happen to you. Instead of building walls, build bridges by learning to say how you feel in a healthy, helpful way
Cooling Down
Before you can talk about your feelings, you need to have a calm head. Take a few deep breaths. Take a walk. Take a bath. Write in your journal. Cuddle the dog. Blow off steam, and you’ll be less likely to say or do something that you’ll regret later. Once you’ve cooled down, you’re ready to talk.
Talking It Out
Telling people how you feel, honestly and calmly, can bring you closer. It shows you trust them with your feelings. And you open the door for them to share their feelings with you. Besides, talking to others can help you sort out feelings that are confusing you. You need to be able to share anger, fear, and sadness—as well as excitement and happiness—to get the support you need during this challenging time.
Making It Better
Anger can be helpful when it leads to change. For that to happen, you need to try to explain how you feel. Follow these steps to say what’s on your mind:
1 Describe exactly what made you angry. “Mom, it made me mad when you said I couldn’t have a new swimsuit, right off the bat, without even listening to my reasons for wanting one.”
2 Tell how it made you feel. “I felt like you didn’t care about my feelings.”
3 Try to agree on a way to handle things in the future. “Next time, let’s hear each other out before deciding. Maybe together we’ll think of a solution that will make us both happy.”
The Whole You
Always remember there’s more—much more—to you than your body. It’s your head, your heart, and your spirit, too, that add up to make YOU
